Jokes' World
Come on! Relax yourselves with some jokes!
1.
Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?
Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?
2.
Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"
Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
3.
A boss announces to his staff: “I’ve lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I’m offering a 100 dollars finder’s fee!”
A voice in the background says: “I’m offering 200!”
4.
It's so cold when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
5.
Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
“No”, she replies sleepily.
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”
6.
Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.
7.
I’m not happy with this and I’d like to exchange it please.
Come again? That’s your bank statement Mr Dibbley!
I said exchange it!!!
8.
Two mice meet and start chatting. “Look,” says one after a while, “I’ve got a new boyfriend!” and shows a picture on the mobile phone.
“OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!”
“What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
9.
It's so cold when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
10.
Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep!